Friday, January 7, 2011

Most of the time I balance on being a terrible mom

A quick run down. I failed at breastfeeding, she wears disposable diapers, she doesn't nap, her formula is made with tap water, she's never eaten a heated bottle in her life, occasionally she eats from a bottle that is more than 2 hours old, occasionally she drinks refrigerated formula that is older than 24 hours, she plays by herself, I let her cry sometimes when I need to do something (like pee or eat or breathe), and my latest is I'm stealing her childhood away by being pregnant.

That being said I'm a terrible pregnant woman: another "quick run down". I eat lunch meats without nuking them, I've eaten tuna for a week straight, I have such a hard time remembering to take my vitamins, I rough house with my husband, I frequently lift Sophia (18lbs) and the groceries (usually like 40lbs), and most of all I cried out of sadness and fear when I saw that little "+" show up on my stick.

Yet my daughter is always fed, people frequently tell me she's the happiest baby they've met... I can't say much about clean I mean I bathe her regularly I put her in clean clothes every day but I can't help it she goes something on her shirt in the 10 minutes before we left the house. She will still be loved with I have Nubbin, she will still get mommy time - just not as much. She will still grow up, learn new things, and play.

As for Nubbin I still love this baby enough to cry hysterically (I'm talking hiccups, unable to see, and snot) when I saw blood a couple nights ago. This baby will receive the same love as its sister just different. I was sad when I saw the + but on the same time I was happy because believe it or not babies are miracles not matter how you look at them.

Now if you excuse me I'm off to be a mediocre parent.

1 comment:

  1. Sweetie, if your daughter is alive and smiling by the end of each day you're doing a sterling job. And if anyone tells you otherwise, send them to me!!