Sam

Carl was mandated last night and Sam seemed to know mommy was feeling lonely and couldn't sleep. Even though he sleeps through the night any other time last night he woke up around 1, not to eat but because he wanted ME.

Normally I try to keep the amount of snuggling at night down to a minimum. But I couldn't sleep and I was missing Carl.

I don't know if it was the start of sleep deprivation creeping in amidst the soft blue glow of the night light but I swear he looked particularly angelic. I can't believe 4.5 months have passed since he was born. He is my amazing boy.

Sophia was a good baby but Sam takes the "good baby" award. But last night that was just more poignant  and I cried for 20 minutes while rocking my sleeping boy. I wasn't sad but I wasn't particularly happy either, I was just in awe of my little boy. He has such a beautiful face and a sweet temperament.

I believe I'll always remember how he looked last night all snuggled into me, his face glowing slightly from the night light, and I believe that memory will get me through some days when he is older.